I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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