If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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