sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
