Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize