party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
