He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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