is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
