I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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