what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think I am morally bankrupt
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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