so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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