Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
