there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
