is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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