Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
