I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
