I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
