Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
