This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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