he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
