It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
