omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
