Jerry, you need to find god
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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