we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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