I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
