The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
