Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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