I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize