He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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