He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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