I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
this must be what syphilis tastes like
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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