I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
