I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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