I smell stomach acid.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
