I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
pray to the hookup gods
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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