what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
