Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
