the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
