He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You work out of a Hotel?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize