I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
be right there i have to get my cape
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
