She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The ass gains better be worth it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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