Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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