I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
