Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
