just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize