Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
