FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
