She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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