Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
