And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
