I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
