Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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