We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
