Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
