Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
