who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
