And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
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