some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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