No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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