She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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