she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
