Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
