If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
