I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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