Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
