Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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