Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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