is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
