I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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