Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize