dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My dad is sitting where you rode me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
