you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
