If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
