Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize