Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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