I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
